Elliott Yamin- Wait For You
A1- One More Try
I personally find these two songs super nice and the lyrics is also very meaningful. I know this is so contradictory but i feel sad whenever i hear these two songs, people who know me well will understand why. Somehow the lyrics really describes the situation that i'm in very well. I think the songs were written for me (haha)
After so long I think its really time for me to put an end to everything. Four years out of my short seventeen years of life is quite a significant amount and i think its relatively enough already. All this while, words like dumb, foolish, or even stupid have been linked to me, i guess its about time for me to break away from all these words that carries along a negative connotation to it.
I really don't see this getting anywhere in the end therefore i've decided to make this decision. Its time for me to embark on other journeys in life, I know my priorities and goals in life and i believe now is the time for me to pursue them.
There's no guarantees that i'll succeed but i promise that i'm attempting to move on. Somehow i think i'm no longer the same person that i once used to be.
No more "Wait For You" and "One More Try". Its time for "Over You".
I feel so lost now, i'm totally confused about how i am feeling.
Is everything just an illusion?
Am i supposed to hang on to something that seems relatively impossible?
Will all my efforts prove to be futile in the end or will there always be a rainbow at the end of every storm?
Does every fairytale ends with a happy ending?
I tried to end this misery, i tried to move on, i tried to start a new chapter in my life but i failed.
I ended up being tormented by more misery, i know i just cant move on, i know i cant start a new chapter without ending one yet.
Too many questions are left unanswered and i know i would never be able to find those answers.
You'll never know what i'm going through.
i've decided to stop deluding myself and start facing up to reality- i still do love you.
Here's my promise made tonight, you can count on me for life.
That's when i love you.
When nothing you do can change my mind.
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face i came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
When You're Gone- Avril Lavigne
Today is one hell of an amazing day! i finally saw HER at jurong point bus interchange today. i've waited so long for this day and finally it arrived. haha i was kinda sure that she had shifted hse cos since last year i haven seen her at all and i was kinda disappointed and accepted that fact le. but this morning when the bus drove into interchange i saw a new urban male bag, same colour as hers, some distance away, i kinda couldnt believe my eyes at first. den i saw a girl wearin a red t-shirt with brown skirt and carrying that bag, at this point i was quite sure that is was her thou i was some distance away from her. once i got down e bus i walked quickly to the bus 174 berth and jus when i was about to reach, her bus came and she boarded the bus. i didnt hav e chance to go up to her and say hi or wadeva but jus standing from some distance and watch her board the bus was already a very satisfying sight. i swear i was having mixed emotions, i was damm happy and also stunned at the same time i relli couldnt believe what had happened. haha i'm so relieved to know that she didnt shift hse. lol thinkin back i shld hav jus boarded e bus and go to hci before goin to skl at least i could look at her. haha well, fate is such an amazing thing la ytd nite i was kinda complaining that i haven recevie any divine intervention with regards to her and today i jiu saw her le. its jus so amazing and also, i normally sit on the left of the bus but today i sat on the right, if i didnt sit on e right i wouldnt hav seen her today. oh my god, i relli wanna thank god for wad happened today. jus seeing her again has made my day =)
WEN 10
its over a year since i last blogged and recently jus felt lik blogging again la. guess everyone thinks that this blog is dead and not existing anymore bah, its alrite cos i kinda wanna make this a private blog la. this entry is goin to be so deja vu, my last entry more than a year ago was when victor left us to go to uk and now i'm blogging becos yuheng is leaving. personally i hate e feeling of seeing close ones, good frens leavin. that kind of feeling relli sucks alot la i mean its relli not easy to see someone so close to u suddenly go so far away from you. i understand that its for his own good in some ways and i do wish them all the best and hope that things do go smoothly for them la. but the emotions when seeing someone leave is relli unbearable lor all the experiences u had with that person will jus come flooding back and you jus wont be able to control ur emotions and i kinda hate goin thru such things so many times. hais i dunno wad to say now la i mean he's one of my closest frens in council and i kinda feel that we are drifting apart recently. at first a certain part of me carried the hope that he wont leave and he would stay but everything has been confirmed le. and he's goin to be leavin real soon. i guess i can only cherish e time i hav left with him bah.
P.S. to my dear karkia frankly speaking i dunno how we became frens. we were both darwin ogls in O2 but we didnt tok at all i think. den we got into council and we also werent close durin invest and obs but somehow after that we became gd frens. u hav been a great karkia i admit at times ur lousy boss nv relli take care of u but it has relli been a great experience being frens with u. the crazy and fun things that we hav done is jus unforgettable. thou e time we had together was short but it was certainly memorable, u hav made my council life much more enjoyable as well. i purposely changed my blogskin to urs kind of to pay a tirbute to u bah so that at least there is still sth btwn us. i respect ur decision and all i wanna say is once u made ur final decision jus stand by it and make e best out of it so that u wont regret ba. all e best to u, study hard play hard do take good care of urself, keep in touch with us. 7th SC will certainly miss u =)
after 1 year i'm finally back blogging. haha i suppose everyone thinks that this blog is dead and have forgotten bout my blog le bah but its alrite kinda wanna keep a private blog. lolz erm firstly wanna tok bout yuheng, he's leavin soon i suppose but i dunno why that something deep down within me tells me that he will stay but den again the possibility of that happening is kinda small i guess. Personally i do hope he will stay la he's one of my closest frens in council really fun and nice guy la. did alot of dumb and fun things together, went thru alot together. its relli sad to see one of ur good frens leave. experienced it once last year with victor and now i might have to go thru this again its realli sad lor confirm will cry de. haha last year i tht i could be strong but i still cried at the airport. hais but i do uds that goin overseas might jus be betta for his own future la. no matter wad decision he makes i will wish him all e best and respect it.
next i wanna tok about HER. i used to see her every morning last year. without fail both of us would be at the interchange at the same time everyday. a few glimpse of her everyday before walking of had left me a deep impression of her. but then i didnt relli felt anything last year. i admit i kinda forgot bout her until that day i went to HCI for maf. i walked into e central plaza and thou it was at nite and it was quite dark but i jus caught sight of someone. e first glimpse that i got was jus vague but i knew that it was a very familiar face i looked clearly again and i realised that it was her. she had changed, becoming more mature and feminine, she had much longer hair now and her tan was still there. i didnt know what i felt at that specific moment but i knew that it was certainly something special. there was a strong feeling within me, something which i have not experienced for this one and a half year. she's relli someone very special, she loves the number 10. is this fate? haha! fate is relli such an extraordinary thing, i mean i had forgotten about her and yet after such a long time i would get to see her again. the way fate bring two people together is jus special i guess. i relli wish to know her will there be any divine intervention to help me. haha
WEN 10 =)
harlow ppl life's getting busy right now cos prelims and everything coming so its gettin v stressful man. lolz jus had physics prac ytd and chem prac today. physics prac i abit scared didnt do well la. lolz but i think my chem prac was quite alrite la. lolz tmr at least got break cos tmr is celebrations for tchers day our class got play captain's ball so hopefully will win la. aniw victor has left us le we are all very sad la. boyuan kakeru edwin koonhui jinghui felicia peiqi victor and me went to cineleisure for dinner on sat la it was e last time we went out with him ma so we treated him to pastamania. lolz it was quite funny la victor and by had a hard time eating carbonara which they blindly followed kakeru. lolz den all 9 of us went to take neoprint the machine broke down at first when we were goin to take lor so funny man but in the end we still managed to take e pics la all 9 squeezing together is a hard task man. lolz we went to arcade to play after tt realli had fun playin pool, daytona, soccer and other games la. stayed till 11 plus den went hm reached hm bout 1 ldiat. we were still counting down and saying tt there were still 14 hrs before victor is leavin us but this 14 hrs passed v quickly before we noe it it was already sunday le. we went to send him off at airport on sunday. had tuition in e morning with edwin and eunice den kakeru came to find us me edwin kakeru had lunch together den went to airport. it was e first time i took mrt to airport la. lolz we 3 were the first to reach la. so waited awhile for him. saw his sj juniors and mr chow and family also. we all reached le and he still wasnt here. finally the main person arrived la. lolz took photos with him tok to him also. as the time drew nearer to him leavin the gals started to cry. in fact about all cried before he even went in lor. e worse part was when he said he was goin in le. we all knew tt the time had come. seeing him went into the gate past the customs many of us were relli v sad le. we could only stand by the glass and wave goodbye to him for one last time. after tt we all went up to the viewing hall i jus stood away from the rest cos i was relli sad. from the viewing hall cant relli see his plane can only see abit la. i jus stood there and tht of these 4 yrs e things which i did with him and also us having fun on sat nite. i cried tears jus flowed down. i noe i told myself i wont cry but its quite impossible to hold back le. mr chow weiming came over to my side huihui and kahyan came too. i was so xiasuay totally spoilt my image le. lolz aniw i guess all i can say to victor now is- all the best brother for ur future. muz study hard and play hard. dun forget 4/5 yea keep in touch with us also. take care. i'm relli glad to hav known u. brothers always =)
i have also founded VKFC- Victor Kwan Fan Club. lolz its jsu sth in memory of victor la. ppl who are interested to join us feel free to visit www.vkfc.blogspot.com for more info. haha
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